This is a question I often got asked and every time I did I simply answered with something like, “I’m a mom, I can do everything.” Don’t get me wrong, I totally have a sense of superwoman spirit since I had children and rightfully so, but even she has to take some time off. Then I was looking at the photo above that my husband took of me yesterday, and normally I would have deleted it. “I look too tired” or “do you see those bags” would have been my first response. And I will not lie, I thought about deleting them and then I stopped. I try to teach my children that they are beautiful no matter what, yet I sit here being my worst critique when most people would never notice my tired eyes if I had never mentioned them. To others they would just see me, a mom and a woman who looks happy. My husband told me I looked beautiful today, so why would I see anything less than that. I should not be ashamed to show a photo off of myself that to me is not perfect, because that is exactly what I want you to see me as. I want everyone to receive a sense of rawness from my blog. It really got me thinking about that question, how do I do it all? My answer: I don’t. I would be lying to you if I said that I did. Yes, I am a mom, but I am not perfect. If that is what my readers have received from me, I feel I have not done my job as a blogger and totally done you all a disservice. Yes, I am the girl who can totally turn it on in front of a camera and rock a day out at the park with two kids in tow, but my life has its down just like any other. While I do share a majority of my life, I try not to share the bad experiences, but I can promise you I have bad days, my kids do throw fits, and it is not all high heels and happiness. This is the reality, that there are days where I am just down right tired and the kids have managed to pull out every toy I have not seen for the last 3 months. I remember reading blogs and seeing all these fabulous moms and their lives look so perfect that I questioned what I was doing wrong. Why do they not look tired or am I not giving my boys the best experience because I do not do fun projects or make super cute lunches for them every day. The answer is simply, No. It is okay to not be perfect, because I would be willing to bet that all these moms I envied had their share of bad moments too. I’m just perfectly imperfect and I’m okay with that. I am also not going to be afraid to share that with you.
The questions should be, “How do I make it work with the good and the bad?” Let’s face it, it is inevitable that life will have it’s bad moments. It is all about how you handle them that will define those moments. For the longest time I took the bad moments so personally that they would all break me down and cause me so much anxiety. Before I had children I was so carefree and nothing phased me. As soon as I had Bentleigh, my whole outlook on life changed. I was not only responsible for my life, but my child’s life. My anxiety went through the roof about every little bad moment that happened, and I’m talking everything. I knew something had to change, but no matter what I did I was still so overwhelmed. Did it happen overnight? Heck no. It took lots of trying and failing and getting back up again. It took me a total of about 3 years to finally make a change.
If you were to ask me how do I do it all now, my answer would be, “I take each moment for what it is because I am strong, because I know that the storm will pass, and every moment good or bad is a gift.” I may be in sweats some days and my house might not be magazine worthy, but I am surrounded by so many opportunities for great moments. Your life can be as amazing as you allow it to be. I love this quote by Jenny Layton from thehappygal.com, “What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” We have to learn to see the joy in the picture that may have a little coloring outside the lines, but often times those are the pictures that were made with the most love and happiness. We have to learn to be perfectly imperfect. My picture could have been on the cover of Vogue or Marie Claire. Who are we kidding, I don’t even read those magazines unless I’m at the doctor! Now my picture is the cover of my favorite children’s book, that we can illustrate with any of our most favorite moments. It’s a picture that was created with love, hope, wonder, and a little bit of chaos. This is the picture I want to share with you, my perfectly imperfect life.